On Pause

Posted by bernicky - January 24th, 2016

Today was day 90. We have a timeline though, an exit strategy, a way through the woods that should see our daughter home the first week of April.

Life is never dull, but it is glacial. I do what I can to move things forward, Donna’s been trying to help me forward, but things never quite seem to move. It seems sometimes the worlds glaciers are receding faster than I am moving forward. Ah well, at least I am making art.

drawing-desk0001

graphite-fish0001

marker-teapot0001

watercolour-canal-afremov0001

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Trying

Posted by bernicky - January 13th, 2016

I’m quite gregarious for the first time and perhaps the second time I meet someone, after that I lose interest. I’m certain that others lose interest in me as fast as I do in them so it doesn’t strike me as an egregious social transgression but it does sometimes pose problems.

When Lynn was alive none of this happened because Lynn, while not being as “hail fellow and well met” as I am on first meeting, was much better at keeping contact with people. She found people interesting and liked talking and socializing. These are things which I avoid like the plague. I can barely tolerate my own company let alone anyone else’s. Back to the point though. In our current situation her knack for keeping touch with people and having so many friends would come in handy. Our daughter is taking guitar as part of her CEGEP course load starting on the 20th. Earlier this year I sold Lynn’s old guitar on the relatively certain knowledge that no one in the family played guitar……ya, that happened. Won’t do any good for me to swear at this point. Still Lynn would have known half a dozen people from whom we could borrow a guitar – I don’t even know half a dozen people.

I’m still in touch with the woman who bought Lynn’s old guitar so I am first going to see if we can arrange a six month rental (she has a collection of guitars so I hope it is possible). The reality is that our daughter will not learn guitar, she will do what is needed to pass the course and then abandon the instrument so owning one is pointless. Fingers crossed.

I did a couple of sketches today along with these two paintings. I’m getting more and more comfortable with making mistakes and just moving past them or starting over. Making more because I worry less about making it perfect which doesn’t mean I don’t try my best but it does mean that I try which is more than I can say for my people skills.

The compulsory sunset attempt

The compulsory sunset attempt

Another one stuck in my head trying to get out.

Another one stuck in my head trying to get out.

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Art is written too

Posted by bernicky - January 13th, 2016

Sing to silence
exist in notes
bent
to ephemeral breath.

Our daughter just rolled her 78th day in hospital which is far more than either of us ever anticipated. A smidge over 11 weeks with more to come. Things are much improved and we have hopes that the improvements are not ephemeral. There’s not much else to do but move forward. That pretty much sums up life its ownself.

Yesterday was a failure on the art front, other than the poem that is. Failure is important. With each failure I learn something new and it is important to learn by doing when you are making art. So here they are my most recent efforts which I keep as reminders that not everything goes as planned.

Orange Julep - This whole thing went pear shaped as soon as I finished the restaurant.

Orange Julep – This whole thing went pear shaped as soon as I finished the restaurant.

Five Roses Flour sign

Five Roses Flour sign

bad teeth on 1" strip

bad teeth on 1″ strip

coloured grass on 1" strip

coloured grass on 1″ strip

Spaceman on 1" strip

Spaceman on 1″ strip

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Three more to the fray

Posted by bernicky - January 12th, 2016

I should find a gallery plugin that I like for WordPress to do this but all the gallery plugins I’ve seen so far are dogs that don’t hunt. So here we are with three more pieces of watercolour – one is very small.

Bleeding heart

Bleeding heart

Rockies scene from picture found on Internet (given away)

Rockies scene from picture found on Internet (given away)

1" x 6" landscape

1″ x 6″ landscape

Only 356 days left to continue the resolutions

Posted by bernicky - January 10th, 2016

The trouble with weight loss is the little bounces. Weight doesn’t move only in a downward motion when you are dieting, it kind of bounces. I’m at 229.2 this morning versus 228.4 two days ago but I know I have not been eating poorly. Nothing to be done but stay the course as there are a lot of days left to lose the 60 lbs I want to drop. At least it didn’t bounce back up to 230.

In the meantime here are numbers 11 and 12 on my make more art campaign. I’ve done drawings in ink before but never something as complicated as the truck (complicated for me that is) and the bubbles are something of an exercise to see if I could do it without resorting to alcohol drops or colour lifting.

Trying to paint bubbles. No. 12

Trying to paint bubbles.

Black and grey markers. No. 11

Black and grey markers

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Just keeping track

Posted by bernicky - January 9th, 2016

2016-01-08 number 10

2016-01-08 number 10

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Resolution check.

Posted by bernicky - January 8th, 2016

Just a few more watercolours (number 7, 8 and 9 since I decided to try this) – keeping up with the resolutions. Made more art, lost 1.2 lbs so far and working hard on the frugal thing but having a teenage daughter doesn’t really help in that department.

Never put on black first.

Never put on black first.

Not quite what I had hoped for but a learning experience

Not quite what I had hoped for but a learning experience

I was obsessed by this idea so I did it to get it out of my head.

I was obsessed by this idea so I did it to get it out of my head.

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Visiting hours

Posted by bernicky - January 5th, 2016

I’m visiting our daughter at the hospital tonight. Visiting can be weird. Often she is doing a craft or talking with friends on the ward and it feels to me like she would rather not have me there than to have me there. It is a good thing that visits are restricted to parents only or there might be more than one second wheel on the unicycle.

The flip side of that is if I didn’t go it would be as if she were being abandoned even though we are now on a 3/4 day split between hospital and home. Visiting hours are always a hassle regardless of when they occur. Work to home, walk the dog, scarf down some food then back out the door to the hospital. I’ve said it before and I will say it again: I would like life to be far less interesting than it is.

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Happy New Year

Posted by bernicky - January 1st, 2016

It’s that time of year again. Resolution time. I’ve never been one for making resolutions but I am going to give it a go this year. Here they are in no particular order.

Spend more time making art. Whether writing stories or drawing or painting I would like to spend more time creating.

I am the same 230 lbs now as I was this time last year and I hate it. It is physically uncomfortable. I would like to drop 60 lbs this year. That’s 5 lbs a month or 1.2 lbs a week. I see no M&Ms in my future.

Be more frugal – that could work in nicely with the others. If you’re making art you aren’t going out and spending money. If you are eating less you aren’t going out and spending money.

That’s it. Three simple resolutions and only time will tell how well I keep them.

In the meantime here are three paintings I did over the last little while.

Banana on kitchen counter

Banana on kitchen counter

Yellow flower trying to hide

Yellow flower trying to hide

Red Riot

Red Riot

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